A couple of weeks back, one of my mentors said:
“Healing is a journey, not an event.”
That statement has been in my head since, so I wanted to share why this is important to understand, plus how it perfectly informs a main teaching point of mine, which is ‘re-learning how to learn’ – which when done with neuroplastic sequencing in mind, leads to trauma healing and the restoration of nervous system regulation.
I think it goes without saying that an event is something that takes place at a distinct place and time. It has a start and end point. Once it’s done, it’s done.
Whereas a journey is different.
According to the world wide web, a journey:
“…traces back to the Old French word journée (meaning “day’s work” or “a day’s travel”), which ultimately derives from jour (Latin diurnus), meaning “day”.”
Pregnancy, as an example, is an event in that it starts and then it ends. However, being a mother is most definitely a journey that never ends.
(This ‘pregnancy’ example is deliberate, as I’ll be releasing a new interview next week on the medicalization of birth and how the journey of pregnancy can be so much improved when a mother has greater regulation on board, but I digress…)
Some of the challenges I’ve seen our online students have is their worry around “being behind in the course content” or “not finishing the whole course when we are in a live session” or “comparing their progress to others,” just to name a few.
I know these are honest fears because of the way many of us learned how to learn in our early years – for example: learning “done well” for many was rewarded with praise and good grades, while an honest beginner level mistake could be followed by punishment and harm.
In such learning models, and the cultures that impose them, it doesn’t take long for a little human to realize what they need to do to not be harmed, be liked, and stay safe.
But this way of growing up (and learning) sticks with us into adulthood and it really messes us up! It also impacts our capacity to heal and release stored up trauma and the like…
It takes a concerted effort, a lot of self-awareness, desire and discipline to shift these early patterns. One needs to continually break down the old, build up the new, and integrate the (new) patterns into life. This often has to to happen over and over again, over days, weeks, months, years, and for some, decades.
(btw: I’m in the ‘decade camp’ myself, as are most of the colleagues I know, plus students who are in this for the ‘journey’ and not just the ‘event.’)
The good news is that when we get into the deep patterns of how we originally learned how to learn and replace them with smarter pathways, not only do we change how we think and behave, we simultaneously change how our physiology responds to current and past stressors, along with how we see and plan our future.
So let’s go back to this statement: Healing is a journey, not an event.
I hope you start to nod in agreement as you read this again.
The work I have to offer you is a journey. If you are looking for an event to heal your trauma, what I have won’t do the trick (and honestly, no ‘event-based’ healing will).
Healing doesn’t happen in 21 days, or 12 weeks, or even one year.
Yes, things change during those times, and my previous courses have had that concept of a time-based container attached to them. I’m realizing now, ten years in offering online teachings, that this has been a mild disservice – to package what I do in “event” based timelines.
Bottom line: it is essential to understand that this is a life-long journey that never ends.
I am still learning and healing, and I hope you’re interested in a similar journey.
Is it tough? Ya, it is.
Do the effects stick? Ya, they do.
They stick and hold because the healing is in the learning. I cannot stress this enough.
We must re-learn how to learn.
The new entry point into my signature online curriculum, SmartBody SmartMind (SBSM), is now Foundations.
This new self-study offering has been crafted after ten years of running SBSM and listening to our students’ feedback for how to improve this learning (and healing) experience.
It’s designed to help you start off strong and teaches you the beginning steps of how to re-learn how to learn.
Here’s what Ulle said about Foundations:
“After starting the course, I noticed that in the evenings before falling asleep, my body did some shaking. I was really surprised at first – was this really the way that body got rid of some tension gathered? I would not know to pay attention to those little changes, if I had not participated in Foundations. The basics were really interesting, even though I have participated in the 21 Day course as well. Gradually I embrace more and more of the nervous system states. Now I notice other people’s states around me and it makes communication easier.”
This testimony exemplifies what happens when we treat our healing as learning, and we embrace the journey of it all.
I hope you join me as part of your healing journey!
