I’ve got a doozy of a story for you today.
It’s a case study that I read years ago in Bruce Perry’s book, Born For Love: Why Empathy Is Essential – and Endangered.
At the time, it stopped me dead in my tracks and made me say:
I’ll bet no one saw that coming…
It also made me wonder: how did we get to this point where a mother, or primary caregiver, can be so unaware and misattuned to what a baby needs to develop into an empathetic, healthy member of human society?
Well, now that I’m better versed in ‘all the bad things that humans survive and endure,’ I know why this happens…
It comes down to our own unhealed wounds and, in this case, it shows us how disconnected some of us are from our biology, the natural environment, how other mammals treat their young, and the pure fact that human babies NEED secure, safe, and consistent attachment figures (especially for the first 3 years of their lives).
I originally released this real-life story via video in November of 2018, but it’s such an important lesson in what NOT to do that I had to re-share it:
When I originally read this book, I was immersed in learning the somatic touch skills to work with early and developmental trauma at the pre-verbal level, so I was soaking up as much as I could and nerding out.
The skills that I was learning back then were via Kathy Kain’s work and her collaboration with Stephen Terrell. What they are teaching is revolutionary for helping people with severe attachment ruptures and early developmental traumas.
If you are one of my SBSM alumni, then you know this already…
But for those who are new here, you might not know this:
These somatic touch skills form a big chunk (about a third) of my teachings in SmartBody SmartMind (SBSM) curriculum. It is what YOU learn how to do with yourself via my guidance.
You learn how to literally take your own healing into your own hands!
If you have yet to learn about SBSM and how it might help you gain more safety and trust in not only yourself, but the world around you, then I can’t encourage you enough to jump on the waitlist for our next live session which will be this coming September, 2025.
Here’s to understanding the needs of our infants and what to do for them, so we can become a more empathetic, healthy, and caring society.
* * *
Additional resources and references mentioned in this video:
➤ To watch ‘The Story of Teddy,’ which is a breakdown of the early trauma Ted Kaczynski experienced and how it impacted the rest of his life, his lack of empathy, and high level of criminality, head over here: https://youtu.be/dNts7T8_Vig
➤ Book: Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential–and Endangered by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., PH.D. and Maia Szalavitz
Resources for learning more about early trauma and its impact:
