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2 Little Known Facts to Help You Calm Down When You’re Overwhelmed
After working with clients, both in my practice and in my online courses, I’ve come to see that overwhelm and emotional angst are a MASSIVE problem in our culture.
Have you heard this saying:
“What we resist persists”?
This so important when it comes to helping calm and soothe any overwhelming and out of control emotions. (And, I’ll explain why in a moment.)
When you can’t “comfortably” be with your uncomfortable emotions, sensations and feelings, this chaotic energy gets trapped.
Then, that trapped energy BECOMES the overwhelm.
This emotional excess must be befriended so you can usher it out of your body strategically and, most importantly, SAFELY.
But, before this safe ushering can happen, some simple practices must be put into place and practiced so that you can be with the emotional excess in a healthy way.
What I’ve witnessed is that the advice of the western mainstream medical systems, and even the eastern alternative treatment options, never seem to get to the REAL root cause of these emotional issues.
Here Are the Two Essential Facts That Are Typically Left Out
FACT 1 – The professionals never address their client’s fight/flight survival instincts, which leaves them stuck “ON” and in chaos 24/7
These (survival) instincts that reside inside a person’s biology, when left unresolved, are often the reason behind the sudden and/or frequent emotional roller coaster rides that so many people suffer from. They are often the root cause of the incapacity to deal with what life throws at them (i.e. feeling overwhelmed).
What happens with many of the common-day practices and remedies for emotional overwhelm is that a person might get *some* temporary relief, but then when they’re least expecting it or when the stresses of life are on HIGH then… “BOOM” the roller coaster ride begins again. What you think has been resolved comes right on back.
A person might get over their immediate top of mind problem (such as the nervousness, anxiety and overwhelm), but then a few months later they start to experience other problems that are brand new (troubled sleep, depression, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, digestive trouble and weakened immunity to name a few).
FACT 2 – Befriending and learning how to “BE” with the feelings and sensations of overwhelm is often overlooked
When a person is feeling complete overwhelm, it might seem odd to tell them that in order for this to get better, it’s actually important to welcome it in, feel it, be with it and get to know it.
After all, if it feels intense and uncomfortable, why in the world would you want to experience it even more!?
Well, the answer to actually lessening and easing down these intense emotions is to BEFRIEND them and get really comfortable and cozy with them.
A common practice that so many people do when they feel intensity, or overwhelm that they don’t like, is to take a deep breath and try to dissolve the yucky qualities, but this can backfire for two reasons:
i) taking a deep breath actually causes the heart rate to INCREASE which makes the overwhelming sensations feel more intense. So, instead of bringing the nervous system down, it actually speeds it up!
ii) What we resist persists. If we attempt to avoid the uncomfortable qualities of overwhelm or emotion by bracing our bodies, or contracting our muscles as so many do (holding the breath or tightening the grip on their tummy muscles) the intensity gets trapped inside. The flow in our body comes to a halt.
When we avoid the discomfort, try to breath it away, or resist it, it’ll get stored away somewhere in our body for a later day.
As I mentioned above, those sudden bouts of overwhelm and anxiety often seem to appear out of nowhere. Well, that’s the old, stored away intensity and overwhelm that was pushed away, which is now trying desperately to get out.
So many of us are trying to shift, transform and change our ways of living and being for the better. We try so hard to move away from the harmful habits and the old emotional and physical hurts of the past (aka: our traumas), yet if we start out on this journey without the solid ground work (that work that involves the befriending our the uncomfortable stuff and also understanding how our survival instincts work) we get trapped on “ON” mode – and we fall short of our goals.
This is why people don’t get better (even after it seems like they’ve done it all!)
Some of the clients that walk through my office door have worked with dozens of healers, practitioners and doctors. So, why aren’t all of their protocols, potions and promises helping? After all, they’re the experts right?
And… you might be wondering, why does what “I” have to say and teach you fall into a different category?
If this curiosity is crossing your mind – I totally get it.
I’d be skeptical, too… but please stick with me here as I review these two important and little known facts one last time.
If the professionals you’ve worked with have NEVER brought to your attention:
The fight and flight responses of your survival-based nervous system and how they might be caught in an open loop that is causing overwhelm and out of control emotions and body sensations, and/or
The importance of befriending the overwhelm and discovering what it takes to safely process the discomforts,
Then you’re missing a very big piece.
Now, before you can fully integrate and process your emotions, you need to make sure you’re EMBODIED and GROUNDED in yourself and I’d love to teach you a few ways to get started. Sound good?
To start calming those pesky overwhelming sensations I’ve created a BRAND NEW AUDIO EXERCISE + CHEAT SHEET for you, which you can download by clicking the image below.
These 4 steps, in audio format, include my personal suggestions for when and how to use them. These are the building blocks to becoming more embodied so you can start to calm your system in a safe way.
Remember this >> your body has the capacity to heal and be free of discomfort and overwhelming uncomfortable sensations and emotions, but the trick is having the right tools in place so that you can actually tap into this natural medicine. (It’s in there. Trust me.)
The practice of bringing more of your body and mind online need not be fancy.
I’ve often found that the simpler it is, the easier it is for your cells to feel and heal.