Guess what? I’m writing a book. The entire process is embryonic, but the seed has been planted. (Not to keep you in suspense, but that’s as much as I can tell you.)
I’m sharing this with you today, not for encouragement (even though I’ll happily take it!), but because my new writing mentor said something today that really landed for me:
“What is one thing in your industry that everyone teaches, but you disagree with?”
For the record, I disagree with way more than one thing, 😉 but for today, as a way to introduce this week’s new video, let’s start with the myth that you need to feel internal safety, and more importantly that you NEED TO FEEL READY, in order to start healing trauma.
*Side-bar to the above, because this might confuse some who saw a video I did not too long ago about the importance of finding safety and how we can improve our sense of it when we are solo. Here’s the important distinction: We need safety in our external environment, but most won’t have it internally at the start.
If our external world is technically safe, it’s possible that we still won’t feel internally safe, even if we have ALL THE THINGS in place that ‘should’ bring a sense of safety. The biology just won’t believe it (due to past experiences) and it’ll think you are lying.
So the solution – don’t try to make things safe, but get better at being with the feelings of unsafety, and then go from there.
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, click below and watch.
Resources I Share In The Vlog:
PERSON: Stephen Porges
VIDEO: Polyvagal Theory. Explained.
BOOK: When The Body Says No, by Gabor Maté
VIDEO: Titration Explained: Never rush trauma healing
VIDEO: Four ways to spark up our social engagement nervous system without socializing